BECOMING GENUINE DAILY

"Strain"

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." --Kenji Miyazawa

"People do not lack strength; they lack will." --Victor Hugo

I recently looked over a Franklin Covey survey and studied the results. The question is very simple: "What is your 2008 resolution?" Why are the results always the same? Exercising, losing weight, eating healthy and stepping out of debt are the top selections. The survey noted that 35% of respondents rescind the resolution they put forth before the month of January is over. Furthermore, 33% say they are not committed to the hopes they envision for the upcoming year. One will be hard pressed to find a website showcasing a resolution poll with this question: "What is your 2008 lust?" I can see the answers already: gaining twenty pounds, filing bankruptcy, divorcing my spouse, ignoring my kids, working fourteen hour days. No person with a sound mind desires to embrace this reality. Unfortunately, these responses occur on a daily basis. In fact, I have come to this conclusion: resolutions are made to be broken. They go hand in hand with the next 365 days. But what is the antidote?

In my humble belief, the wording needs revision first. Since resolutions are formed to be broken, does a better term exist? I choose the word "passion". When one becomes serious about achieving milestones in life, a strong desire should accompany it. Otherwise, the efforts become hollow, devoid of fervor, intensity, depth, focus. But I will not stop with passion. Pain or sacrifice will accompany passion too. And while pain is never actively sought out, it is necessary for the validity of goals. Take running for instance, a sport I willingly engage in. From time to time, close friends inquire on the distances I set forth and meet, laughing in a cynical surprise when the figure is muttered. While running is good, cleansing, inspiring and even a time of spiritual meditation, it hurts, literally. I stretch before I start, and since the legs are idle, groans escape my mouth. When the run concludes, my legs and my feet hurt. The cool down stretch alleviates a portion of the pain, but it lingers, a reminder of the hard pavement. Staying healthy is painful.

Incidentally, the presence of pain takes one back to the Scriptures. In the narrative focused on the first man and woman, they choose to violate the provision of God and consume the prohibited fruit. This is truly the nature of man, to satisfy his desires in the moment and struggle with the consequences later. In this story, God tells the woman childbirth will be agonizing; to the man, he will till his food from the ground hereafter. In fact, God calls the ground cursed, a further affirmation of the broken bond. Although agriculture is a fading means for food by the common citizen, men and women continue to toil the "ground" in the work setting, not only for sustenance, but for the desires of the heart, the expenses it takes to go forth in a "normal" state of living. I am always amazed with the overlap of emotion in life. As I look at my life in this moment, I am happy, at peace. A good friend told me last evening his colleague's wife died. This man is truly "in the depths, crying out", as David writes. But I know in time he will move forward and become stronger in the process. And the day will come when I will fall into the depths too, struggling, looking for answers.

I remember a memorable scene from "Forrest Gump" (1994), directed by Robert Zemeckis. Forrest and Lieutenant Dan are watching the seconds tick away from the existing year and the camera turns to a partygoer. She remarks, "Everyone has a chance to start over." As I reflect on this statement, I wonder if this is necessary. I can remember pages in 2007 I wish to discard from my story, but I know 2008 will hold new experiences also sour in taste. But the upcoming year will also embody triumphs, smiles, joy. The flavor of life rests in experiencing both. When Jesus teaches, he states, "In this world you will have trouble." I wonder if every student of Jesus understands this statement. It's a good thought, a world without problems, but with a broken bond between God, strife inevitably appears from time to time. But I give thanks for those who see ugliness as opportunity, the chance to reveal the kingdom of God every moment.

I am also coming to realize when one decides to give himself or herself away, effort or cost is always necessary. Stopping to help someone may or will require being late to an upcoming appointment, spending time in conversation or adding additional charges to the credit card. But I find myself hard pressed to find someone who is willing to say the costs outweigh the joy, the satisfaction, the feeling of goodness rising in the spirit. It's good to know this message will not be contained during the Christmas season, for this is a full year state of mind, heart, attitude. What's odd with resolutions? They are only lip service for a desired course of action. They begin this way: "I resolve to..." They sound like this to me though: "If I get around to it..." We joke around the office when tasks are asked. They tend to begin this way: "Can you do this for me?" Can I? Yes. The better question is "Will I?" Notice the power of the will. All tasks can be accomplished. Whether one is willing is the deciding factor.

I plan to look over my goals for 2007 this evening and evaluate the ones I have accomplished, the ones I have not met. I know immediately the financial cost has kept me from pursuing a handful of the goals I jotted down in January. And go figure, lack of time has inhibited me from taking hold of others. But before midnight "tolls for me" and 2008 moves into view, I will make goals for this new year too and make focused efforts to go forth and make them realities. Life will no doubt alter these plans; some may be revised, others discarded. But above all, I look forward to the opportunity to grow in character. I believe this is not accomplished through self-help literature, but a willingness to always be open and receptive to the feedback of others, family, friends, colleagues. Healthy criticism is good, if it leads to deeper integrity, wisdom, goodness. Go forth in 2008 and grow in every way. Nike always captures it best: Just do it.

"Depletion"

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
--Mahatma Gandhi

"Human benevolence is mingled with vanity, interest, or some other motive."
--Mark Twain

I study commercials, watching the interaction of the actors and actresses, the focus of the message, the humor, the drama, the stupidity. The result is simple: selling products or services. From time to time though, a spot captures my attention. In fact, my interest currently targets a Liberty Mutual campaign. They sell insurance. As the advertisement unfolds, a citizen shows another a good deed, an act of hospitality, safety, kindness. The camera focuses on the simple act and then turns to someone else, an unknown stranger watching the gesture from close proximity. And in the next shot, the previous bystander decides to be gracious to another. This process is repeated multiple times. The commercial closes with this tagline: "When it's people who do the right thing, they call it being responsible; when it's an insurance company, they call it Liberty Mutual." I'm having difficulty reconciling responsibility with generosity: is this the basis of kindness? Or does it run deeper? Does it thread humanity together?

People pray to God with noble intentions, asking for his continued intervention. Removing poverty, ushering peace, clothing the nude and brining nourishment to the famished are petitions uttered on a global scale. In the Scriptures, a narrative unfolds around Jesus. He is finished with his teaching for the day, and the people are becoming hungry. The disciples ask him to send the people to the villages for food. But the answer from the teacher is surprising: "You give them something to eat." Befuddled, the disciples wonder how they will pay to feed the large crowd. So Jesus takes what is available, five cakes of bread and two fish, and gives thanks. The people eat well and leftovers are collected. I have always noticed the Scriptures state 5,000 eat this day. But 5K is the number of men. And since families are with the father, 10-12K is likely. Jesus likes to challenge people who ask for his exclusive direction. His reply is simple: "Take what you have available and create change."

Two films come to mind. The first is "Pay it Forward" (2000), directed by Mimi Leder, a film I consistently reference. Trevor McKinney, like Anne Frank, believes in the goodness of humanity. He decides to undertake a project--repaying kindness forward instead of back. And therein lays the caveat, the oddity of the task. When people show others kindness, they are surprised, dare I say shocked. Why is this? The West is underscored by a foundation of individuality. People are resources to achieve objectives, tools for personal gain, disposed when they are unneeded. Is this picture harsh or a vision of reality? When charity is shared, the recipient feels obligated to return the favor. They cannot loose the sense of debt, the give and take relationship which ebbs and flows in society. The second film I wish to note is "Evan Almighty" (2007), directed by Tom Shadyac. In this particular narrative, God asks Evan Baxter, the anchor now senator, to build an ark before a flood arrives. Reluctant, Evan dismisses the commission and continues to go forth with his personal challenge to "change the world". The animals begin arriving and Evan's physical appearance drastically changes. So he decides to follow through. As the film closes, Evan converses with God and discovers the deeper meaning of his large boat. People change the world by building a personal A.R.K. A random act of kindness can change the world.

The church I attend is deciding to show kindness in the county it resides in. The series title captures the thought well: "Random Acts of Christmas". But the series is built on a foundation with deeper roots, a mantra, a mindset of service. We are giving ourselves away. In this Christmas season, the church community is showing kindness to complete strangers with acts of kindness. The catch is very simple: pay it forward and nominate someone truly in need this season. Groceries for a year, gas for a year, a college scholarship and two cars are part of the list being given away to families. Why is a church willing to do this? Why are people willing to do this? This statement is now reduced to a cliche, but the staying power continues to remain in effect. St. Paul writes, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

As the race for the White House continues to draw near, the call for public service continues to be studied. And oddly enough, studies confirm the validity of this challenge. Research notes people who volunteer have higher feelings of satisfaction than those who don't. But will imposing service diminish willing participants? Time will tell. It appears citizens are deciding to dive in without the call of the government. They are deciding to leverage the abilities and talents they have for the sake of others, without expectation of return. Humans always compare themselves with others, focused on who has what, who lacks what. And it is always easier to hope others will take the initiative, but why wait?

As Christmas draws near, I cannot help but remember George Bailey. "It's a Wonderful Life" (1946), directed by Frank Capra, returns once again Christmas Eve. I am thankful to say I have it on DVD now, and will no longer suffer through advertisements before the story returns. As I think about this kind fellow, wonderfully portrayed by Jimmy Stewart, I see a man who gives himself away the duration of the film. He decides to forgo college so his younger brother can; a newlywed, he gives his money for the honeymoon to the town's citizens. He passes on a lucrative investment opportunity to bring shelter to those who need it. And when a large sum of money is misplaced, he wonders whether his giving has been in vain. He begins to pray at the bar in a scene a good friend of mine believes is one of the best in film history. I am inclined to agree. His good friend Clarence shows him how wonderful his life is, how many people he has helped. Those people rally to help him. In the closing scene, friends and family descend on the Bailey's. My eyes tear up thinking about it. It is good to share kindness with others, with both friends and those not known on a personal level.

St. Paul references his life as a "drink offering, poured out in the service of others." Genuine benevolence is the drained fluid. Even Jesus, executed as a radical revolutionary by religious leaders, literally drained his life for others with the puncture of his side on a death cross. Kindness and charity are replenished through solitude, through personal cost, through meditation, through friends. No man is a failure who has friends. So when the Christmas season has passed, when March 22nd arrives, when it is simply another day in work, in school, in lunch, in front of the computer, the television, remember to raise a glass for giving yourself away for others the year round. Why? Love, pure love for all. Then drain the cup dry and start over.