"Solo"

"Silence is a source of great strength." --Lao Tzu

"A man can be himself only so long as he is alone." --Arthur Schopenhauer

In my humble belief, moving is not a joyous experience. Although family members and friends come together to achieve a common objective, stress flares up from time to time. Recently moving to my first home, I decided to streamline the process, consumed with simplicity. My bedroom was packed and moved to the den, arranged for quick pickup. A good friend helped me load in forty minutes and we headed to the house. My father and another friend awaited our arrival. And we unloaded the truck in twenty minutes. Fatigued, I spent the day in relaxation, ready to unbox the next day. As I consider the reality around me, a simple truth emerges: I am alone. Oddly enough, this feeling is without deep emotion. I will truly miss living with my family and the relationship building, but know going forward is not only good, but necessary.

In the Scriptures, God studies the first man and notices a disparity. Each animal is part of a pair; one is a complement to the other. But the man is standing alone. God recognizes this reality and decides to intervene, stating, "It is not good for man to be alone." Accordingly, he creates a woman. In fact, the bond the two share is literal: the woman is created from the man's rib. I am astounded with the staying power of the aforementioned statement: it is not good to be alone. But I live alone now. No one is waiting for me when I return home. And while I enjoy the freedom of this 'organic' time schedule, the presence of knowing another is near is the meditation of my heart. My search is for a complement, a companion, a partner, a half, a spouse, a wife. It is not good to be alone. At times though, it is.

Timing varies with whom I ask, but the conclusion remains the same: live by yourself for a season. Perhaps I am conflicted with moving withdrawal. I am eager to enjoy the presence of another. Ironically, this is the exception in Western thought. The role of the individual and his or her personal success is highly prized. The role of team success is growing, but it still tends to be overshadowed by the efforts of one person. Ponder the meaning of the Pixar success "Cars" (2006), directed by John Lasseter. Lightning McQueen fires his pit crew early in the film, unconcerned with the assistance they are willing to give. Mack and his shallow agent are his only friends left. But taking a wrong turn, he discovers a small town, Radiator Springs. In time, he discovers the value of letting others help and "slowing down".

And when moments of "slowing down" arrive, solitude is necessary. Alamoth writes a psalm (prayer) and records this word from above: "Be still and know that I am God." In the moments of silence, clarity arrives. When one studies the life of Jesus, he is often identified with the crowd, teaching, rebuking, healing. But the Scriptures reveal a phrase that repeats consistently: "He withdrew". To reference "Cars" once more, Sally leads Lightning to a unique place. Inching towards the cliff, Lightning poses a simple question: "How did you end up here?" With a simple smile, she replies, "I fell in love." With a mutter, Lightning wonders who the lucky vehicle is: "Corvette?" She replies, "No. With this." The camera turns to capture the valley below, the wondrous beauty stunning animation cannot fully capture.

At times, solitude is very important. Prayer comes to mind, for when distractions are commonplace, focus lapses and the mind turns to other thoughts, obligations, chores, opportunities. An Estonian Proverb states, "Silence is sometimes the answer." While many cannot sit in silence for even a few moments, I believe it is important for clarity, understanding. And although the mind wonders, it seems to inevitably settle on what is truly important in the moment, what matters most at a given point in time. I say this from personal experience. Retreats also underscore this idea. Spouses part ways for a weekend. They may spend time with others in group settings, but time alone is emphasized too.

The thought of death has roamed in my mind at times today. Not my personal death, but the passing of a loved one. His time is coming soon and I have shared my goodbyes recently. As I consider his departure in terms of this piece, I know he is not alone. His family has gathered around him in the hospital, and they will do so at his funeral. Strangers I have no personal connection with are coming to express words of light, ways in which their life is better by crossing paths with his. But I also know so many are passing away this moment throughout the world without a proper memorial, friends to share thoughts of joy, hope, strength. My heart weeps for them. U2 penned a song on their 2004 album "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" that captures the importance of looking to another: "Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own".

God is the author of community. Back in the Genesis narrative, before God creates man, he makes a very unique statement, easily overlooked with a passing glance: "Let us make man in our image". Us. Plural. More than one. More than two. This commune is known as the Trinity: God, Jesus, and the Spirit, each distinct and yet in eternal connection, eternal dance. Thoreau writes, "I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude." While his thought is valid, it falls short after time. Walden is important for a season, but embracing the touch of another is vital for a lifetime of mental and spiritual formation. Because I can't make it on my own.

Comments

[Dana Elizabeth]

Once again...awesome. I like your perspective, it makes me think. By the way you're not alone, you write for a reason and you connect to others by your writings. I like your work, keep it up.

[Dana Elizabeth]

Once again...awesome. I like your perspective, it makes me think. By the way you're not alone, you write for a reason and you connect to others by your writings. I like your work, keep it up.

[Dana Elizabeth]

Once again...awesome. I like your perspective because it makes me think. Keep it coming.

[Dana Elizabeth]

Gay...I thought it didn't work the first time, I guess I was wrong. Oh well, I like when people leave comments and I hope you do too.

[Janice]

This is beautiful.

Have you read the book (or seen the movie) "Into the Wild"? That is what this makes me think of, because eventually he comes to the same conclusion--"it is not good for man to be alone".

[Paul Presley]

Congratulation on the next big step in life.
I am about to do the same. Moving away from my parents will be hard, but like you said, it is necessary.

Good work. I will need to read this in a few weeks.

[Rachel]

Hey Austin.

I first saw this on Relevant (I'm a section editor there, as well) and thought to check out the blog. I appreciate your transparency in this season of life. It's encouraging to know I'm not the only one experiencing such a thing.

By the way, do you write often for Relevant? Your name seems familiar. If you ever want to write for my section (God-Worship), we could get in touch. I'm always looking for more writers.

Take care!