"Sever"
"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with." --Wayne Dyer
"Half the pleasure of solitude comes from having with us some friend to whom we can say how sweet solitude is." --William Jay
The latest figure reports 200 million active MySpace accounts. And although thousands of accounts are constructed with the intention of spamming, the majority leverage this emerging platform to showcase musical abilities, amateur video and personal hobbies. Call it self-branding, the art of making a mark in the limitless arena of cyberspace. This platform is revolutionary, but what are the side effects? Or looking back further, what impact is the web as a whole having on relationships? A vision of creating deeper ties, it is slowly driving gaps, barriers in personal communication. For instance, consider e-mail. A remarkable tool, e-mail is truly astounding. Photos, documents, spreadsheets and music travel the globe in moments. But note this: a recent report outlines e-mail overload, a chronicle of the working man who checks his inbox 7-10 times a day. I cannot leave out PDA owners either, the Palm and the aptly named "Crack"Berry addicts who depart the dinner table when the ping of a new mail arrives.
I marvel at the prospect of technology and truly give thanks for the minds that advance the possibilities that evolve each day. But I choose to recognize the power of disconnecting too, living "off the grid" from time to time. Having stated this, the difficulty arises in executing. Cable will be connected at my home this Saturday, along with a moving marvel termed broadband. I decided to bundle this package, but omitted the option of a home telephone. While my logic is built on cost, I am only now recognizing this emerging truth: I am still tied to the grid. My mobile phone is the only method of accessibility. Until this point in time, the phone is turned completely off at night. Once planning to continue with this approach, my mother advised against this course of action. Emergencies may arise and my family will need to reach me. Accordingly, the phone will be set to vibrate now during what Sinatra calls "the wee small hours of the morning."
Another question surfaces: is complete solitude truly possible? One's initial inclination might turn to no, but stepping away from the gadgets that bind is attainable. It seems to me that solitude will require a lifetime of mastering. Even when the noise ceases, the mind continues to process thoughts, unfinished tasks, chores requiring attention, dishes awaiting storage. Oddly enough, men and women wish to "break free" (according to Queen) from relationships at times too. In fact, I dialogue on this paradox with a good friend sporadically. He outlines his frustration with people, a sentiment I share from time to time. But life is boring without people to become frustrated with. Arguments, forgiveness, celebration and love require two or more. I look forward to sharing these realities in good time with a spouse. I'm not excited over the fights that will arise, but know unique creatures like humans irritate one another.
According to my research, the Scriptures reveal sentences built on keywords of community outnumber statements of solitude three to one. God shares his heart early in the Genesis narrative: "It is not good for man to be alone." Humans blur the words "alone" and "lonely" from time to time. I know I do. While these words seem interchangeable, they are distinct. Both are adjectives, but describe unique realities. Personally speaking, I live alone; no other people reside under my roof. Loneliness is a feeling remedied with a phone call. Why? Because I share the bond of community with friends. For some reason, our personalities, while distinct, mesh when we share a meal or a hand of cards. Relationship is the antidote for loneliness. And yet, even in community, friendship with others, loneliness still arises. For many, it is the absence of a spouse, a man or woman one can be completely "naked" with, both physically and emotionally.
While it is always easier to single out differences in cultures and ethnicities, focusing on the goodness that lives within is the noble path. I recently read a story in TIME magazine about a Jew, an Arab and a Muslim sharing a meal in the middle of the ravaged Middle East. To those familiar with the relations between these groups, this account seems unthinkable. But they continue to do so regularly, completely aware of the dangers that lie outside the home walls. They disagree on theology, dress, food, politics and the name of God, but understand the thread of humanity runs deep in the veins. Despite the media reports, this friendship is going the distance.
I sporadically ponder what value my abilities create in the lives of others. The church I attend is continually sharing a phrase not only for the Christmas season, but a focus for living well into the coming months, years: "give yourself away". Incidentally, this news is not new. And reports indicate people find deep joy helping others. Society is becoming increasingly concerned with the welfare of others. Perhaps it is the intervention or recognition celebrities bring. George Clooney and Don Cheadle continue to be noted for the attention they draw to Darfur. Bono continues to do this, the focus of his life's pursuit. In the song "Kite" he writes, "I'm not afraid to die, I'm not afraid to live; and when I'm flat on my back, I hope to feel like I did." Recognition of the global economy will always bring awareness to the living conditions, the budget, the culture, the people of nations, countries, cities, provinces, villages. A recent story I looked over outlines reconciliation through coffee. Previously warring countrymen are coming together in Rwanda to harness the fields of coffee available. And a wage from sales is going to the widows of genocide, to the growers and set aside for microcredit loans to aspiring entrepreneurs. It is not good for man to be alone. Call it joy through java.
